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By Bilge Ebiri You go into this thing expecting silly insouciance and walk away from it questioning reality.

And now we have the supremely expensive, Robert Downey Jr. You go into this thing expecting silly insouciance and walk away from it questioning reality.

It is anti-cinema. Of course, it should be a spirited, high-flying adventure, with wise-cracking CGI animals voiced by celebrities John Cena!

Selena Gomez! Rami Malek! Jason Mantzoukas, apparently!

Dolittle performs surgery on the squirrel as the kids watch … smiling, for some reason and then reluctantly agrees to help the Queen after learning that if she dies, his manor will be taken over by the Treasury, kicking him and his animals out right in the middle of hunting season. After examining the Queen and beginning to suspect that she might have been poisonedDolittle announces that her royal highness can only be cured by an extract from the rare fruit of the Eden Tree, and off he Hot woman want casual sex Hartford his menagerie go to harvest it.

Watching the movie, it felt like the voices were in my head. Or maybe it has something to do with what was reportedly a complete, ground-up revision of the story and weeks of extensive reshoots.

It shows. The story hops around with whiplash-inducing lunacy, and not in a good way. The behind-the-scenes turmoil which I only learned about after seeing the picture bleeds into the visuals as.

Every frame, every cut feels off. There is no onscreen evidence that Dolittle, in any iteration, was ever anything but hopelessly inert.

And failure this thorough has a virulent effect that reaches beyond one mere film; it makes you question the cinematic form. It was almost as if we were watching stolen documentary footage of the real-life actor pulling a knife on set, demanding to Ladies wants hot sex NC Bethel 27812 freed from this unholy production.

Look, sometimes these things go south. Sometimes all of these things happen, and you get The Island of Dr. Dolittle is a calamity for the ages.